#129 Hear from Tulum Retreat Participants (aka LMFs)

Read the full episode transcript

Hey, this is Melissa Parsons, and you are listening to the Your Favorite You Podcast. I'm a certified life coach with an advanced certification in deep dive coaching. The purpose of this podcast is to help brilliant women like you with beautiful brains create the life you've been dreaming of with intentions. My goal is to help you find your favorite version of you by teaching you how to treat yourself as your own best friend.

If this sounds incredible to you and you want practical tips on changing up how you treat yourself, then you're in the right place. Just so you know, I'm a huge fan of using all of the words available to me in the English language, so please proceed with caution if young ears are around.

Melissa 

Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the podcast. You guys are in for a major treat today because when we were finishing up my most recent I.E. my only retreat in Tulum this past month, I asked the lovely women who accompanied me to the retreat if they would be willing to come onto the podcast and talk about their experience. So we have five of the seven young ladies who were with us. One young lady did not want to come on the podcast. And because we do everything consensually here at Melissa Parsons Coaching, that was a perfectly acceptable answer. And one of our retreaters was planning to be here, but her son won his basketball game yesterday. And so advanced to the final game today. So we love you, Tina, and we are wishing Cam well. We're hoping that he's like learned how to dunk at this tournament. So, OK, so we have been home for 23 days. Who would rather be in Tulum right now by show of hands? 

Jenn

Take me back.

Gina

Most definitely. 

Melissa 

Okay. That's amazing. So I'm going to have you guys introduce yourselves by way of telling us who you are, and then telling the listeners why you signed up to come on the retreat. And, you know, keep it as long or as short as you want to, we don't have to just be yourselves like I said before you even started so I'm going to go in order on my screen you guys can't see my screen. Colleen that means you're first. 

Colleen 

Hello, I'm Colleen. I have been coaching with Melissa for over six months now. I'm in my second rotation. The first time I did in person and group therapy or group coaching. Sorry, I always do that. 

Melissa 

And that's all right. You said in person, but you meant one on one. Correct. You're right. 

Colleen 

I'm seeing going first has its drawbacks for sure. 

Melissa 

Take a deep breath, sweet Colleen. 

Colleen 

So at the end of our group coaching, Melissa mentioned that she was thinking of having a retreat. And I think Jenn and I were like, absolutely. We are 100% in. I knew that Melissa would do just an amazing, amazing job. And she did. And I'm so happy I joined.

Melissa 

Amazing. Thanks for sharing, Colleen. All right, Gina, you're next, love. 

Gina 

All right. I am Gina Long. I have been coaching with Melissa for almost a little over a year now, and I had been exploring kind of at least in my head the idea of doing a retreat. Melissa talked about it a lot, going to Miraval, and always sounded amazing. And when you decided, Melissa, to do one, I thought this is the universe saying, do something for yourself, which I am not always great at doing. And it was just a really… it took me about a week, I think, of thoughtful searching to say, is this the right time? And that's probably too long. I think in my soul, I knew I wanted to do it right away. But just really interested in the idea of doing something with someone that I knew and knew me. So it didn't feel quite as scary either. So that's part of the reason why I was excited to do it. 

Melissa 

Awesome. Thank you, Sara. You're next. 

Sara 

Hi, I'm Sara. I coached one-on-one with Melissa for two sessions back in 2022 and 2023, and just gained so much from coaching. And it's like stepping into a different world, a different universe. And so when Dr. Parsons brought up this retreat or mentioned this retreat, it was like my whole body was like, yes, I have to be there. And not only just to have more time with Melissa, with coaching, but I was really excited about being with a group of other women and just getting in circles of women talking and sharing. And the group coaching aspect of the retreat was really what was like, absolutely, yes, I got to do this. 

Melissa 

Amazing. Thank you for sharing. Jenn, you're next. You're up, lady. 

Jenn 

I'm Jenn and I coached with Melissa one-on-one for a year and then did group for six months. And so right at the tail end of the group closing, she offered this retreat. I knew immediately I had to go, I wanted to go, I had to figure it out. Um, I mean, there really wasn't much to figure out because it was really a no-brainer for me. 

Melissa 

Yeah. You were hunting me down, basically, Jenn. Like, where's the sign up button? Like, where do I send my money? Don't forget me. 

Jenn 

And, like, how beautiful is it to be able to coach on Zoom, be in a group on Zoom, and then be in person together, too? Like, it's just, like, the whole package, I think. So that's... That's why I went. 

Melissa 

Krystin, tell us why you came on the retreat. 

Krystin 

Yeah, I'm Krystin. I coached with Melissa, like in 2021-ish, I think individually, one on one, and then joined one of like, I guess the OG group and group coach with Melissa and had been away from coaching for a little while. And then saw via Facebook and email that Melissa was hosting their treat. And I tried to ignore it a couple of times in terms of like, just not a good time. I have little kids, like getting away is just not going to happen. But there was just something that kind of kept pulling and kind of just listening to my inner self that this was the time and that I'm so, so glad that I did it. 

Melissa 

Yeah, it's so interesting because of course, you know, for most of us who are parents and who, you know, work outside the home and that type of thing, there's never going to be a great time to go and spend five days by yourself unless you make the time and you make the decision. So, so good, so good, so good. I'm glad that you all decided to come and made it work and figured it out and, you know, had the support of your people back home to be able to come and enjoy yourself. So, okay, what was your favorite thing about the retreat?

Jenn 

How can we say just one? 

Melissa 

Okay, you can tell us what were your favorite things. 

Gina 

We’ll divide and conquer it, Jenn. We'll draw straws. Everyone can talk about all of their one things. 

I'll go. I was really, first of all, being, I'm going to have two. So being with women in person was an incredible experience that I'd never really done something like that where it was maybe as an adult where, you know, that was, that was just an incredible experience to kind of be sharing that experience together. But of all the things we did, all the activities that were all amazing, I have since and at the time still reflected on the sound healing experience with Diego. That was just something for me that was very, I think I will remember that forever. And I have these just moments almost every day where I think about something, some experience during that process that just takes me back to Tulum, to the retreat. I don't know, something about that was very impactful to me. 

Melissa 

Yeah, to that beautiful space that we were all in and being by ourselves, laying on our own mats with our eyes closed and not seeing each other, but having the collective experience of everyone experiencing it at the same time. Yeah, it was really powerful. And he was such an amazing leader. 

In fact, we have to shout out Jungle Kiva Tulum. That is the place that we stayed. And the owner there, Kendall, was amazing. She made my first retreat experience so easy and seamless. She found us the absolute best people that she has worked with forever and ever and ever. Well, for the past five years since she has owned the Jungle Kiva. But she really was so great at sharing her people and knowing exactly what we would need and helping me decide how much stuff to plan, how much was just the right amount, not too much, not too little, that type of thing. She was just an invaluable resource. So if you are wanting to plan a retreat for your people or you're wanting to go on a retreat with your girlfriends and you've been looking for a place to go, or even if you wanted to take your family, I don't, but it's just not that type of experience for me, but I could see how it might be for other people. And that's no shade to my family. I love my family and going on vacation with them, but this is not the type of trip that we would take together. But she was just so incredible. And Diego obviously knew exactly what he was doing. His brother Omar was there with him helping. And I think the most impactful thing for me about that experience was going around and sharing afterward. I didn't know that we were gonna do that, but kind of sharing our own experience and hearing what you guys thought of the experience. So thanks for sharing that, Gina, I appreciate it. Have you been listening to music every day, like he says that we should be doing and letting the sounds heal us? 

Gina 

I think that's what's been interesting is I've always been someone who listens, like music is a part of my life, variety of music, you know, in a variety of ways, by no means am I an connoisseur, but I think I'm more appreciative of the impact it has on my physical and mental body because of that experience. It's something I think I kind of knew, but more subconsciously and there's something about kind of making that connection of when I'm feeling down or when I'm in even a good mood, like how music or sound or just being forced silence, like just the sound of silence can be very impactful and just kind of draws me back to that moment and to myself. 

Melissa 

I’m reading a book right now about reclaiming your inner child. And it's basically, you know, going back for the parts of you that you may have left behind or had to abandon because of life. And I know for sure that singing, dancing, playing, listening to music, like those are things that kids do, you know, with wild abandon, they don't care who's looking until they reach a certain age and then they start to care, right? So I'm wondering if it's just part of your inner world that you had kind of forgotten about and are now bringing back. Yeah, I love that for you and for me and for everyone on the call. All right. Anybody else want to share a favorite thing or favorite experience? 

Jenn 

I can. I think what I want to share about this is I do things in my life sometimes to pamper myself, but it's like one thing, like a massage or, you know, a nice meal out or, and what this felt like was like five days of pampering, but not like in a superficial way and a deep way, like pampering with conversation, pampering with coaching, pampering with experiences, pampering with a private chef who cooked and then cleared the table. 

Melissa 

That was the hardest thing for most of you. To get up from the table without like clearing your space. I was like, no, that is what they're doing. They're paid to take care of us. Let them take care. 

Jenn 

Yeah. So like a pampering, but I mean, on a very deep level, you know, like, what, what a gift that you offered and that we took you up on and, and I had the best yoga class of my life. 

Melissa 

Yes, sweet Natalia. You can follow her at No Drama Yoga. I will link to Diego and Natalia and the Jungle Kiva and Amaya Dominguez, the person who led our amazing cacao ceremony in the show notes. So anybody who's listening, if you want to learn more about these people and see the incredible lives that they live, you can certainly go and follow them on Instagram.

Yeah, such great yoga classes. I had told Natalia before that I wanted it to be gentle and that I wanted it to be all about self-love and she said, you know, no problem. Those are the types of classes that she likes to lead by looking at her rocking body it doesn't look like the type of classes that she likes to take. But she did a great job at leading us through and like getting to know our bodies because of course, so many of us have been conditioned to live in our heads and not pay attention to our bodies. So yeah, amazing yoga class. For everybody who responded to my survey, not everybody, but most people said add another yoga class. So I probably will be doing that for the next retreat to come. All right, Colleen, do you want to go next? 

Colleen 

Yeah. And it was similar to Jenn. It was just having dedicated time. We're all busy. We all have jobs and families. And we're usually cooking dinner and clearing the table and preparing. And of course, you did such a great job. You had it all scheduled. We didn't have to do anything. And that is probably one of the first times I've I can't recall that maybe since I was a kid, right? Where everything was taken care of. And it was all about just thinking through my thinking through my relationship with myself and where I want to go. It was just so freeing. And what to hear and be inspired by the other lovely women and their lives and hearing your coaching. But just that dedicated time where we couldn't get pulled away because of this, that, or the other. It just had that focused time. So the gift of time, I guess, is really what I appreciated the most.

Melissa 

That's awesome. Anybody else want to share? 

Krystin 

Yeah, I would just feedback I think off of both Jenn and Colleen that like, you know, just having that dedicated time, but to be able to really like focus on self and have that kind of self reflection time when you're you don't have the busyness of life and kids and work and things competing for your your time and your mental space. So something that I wasn't expecting, but ended up being the biggest surprise. 

Melissa 

Yeah, awesome. Sara, do you want to go? 

Sara 

I would second what everyone said so far. It was really hard for me to think of like a favorite thing. It just the whole thing, the whole experience was just day after day, it was like, now this is my favorite thing. Now this is the best thing ever. It just kept coming. But I really do, I think it was like Colleen said that gift of time just not having to be thinking about what I have to do next. Like Jenn was saying, like I do stuff like that for myself too, massage or something, taking time for myself. I've been trying to get better at that. But you always, when you're doing something like that in your regular life, you're just always thinking about like, OK, I got to go home, make dinner, whatever, you're thinking about your next thing. It's hard not to think about what you got to do next. And this was just so liberating, freeing that, OK, what do we have to do next? We have to go into the dining area and enjoy this beautiful meal that was prepared for us that we don't have to clean up. And it was just so great. But I really also have reflected on and thought a lot about the other women that we got to spend time with. I got to spend time with. And I mean, I think about you ladies, like every day, I think about stuff will come up– that came up in coaching. I learned so much from everyone else, the stuff that you all were coached on, almost as much or more so than the stuff that I was coached on in the coaching sessions. So yeah, it was really an incredible experience. 

Melissa 

Yeah. That's really the beauty of group I think is so many times you hear other people getting coached and you're like, oh, this doesn't apply to me. But then you're, you either realize it right then. Oh, how could it? Or three weeks later, you're like, oh, shoot, that does apply to me. Right? So that's kind of the beauty of group. And then I think since so many of you guys talked about time, I would be remiss if I didn't ask you all to notice that and to be wherever you are. So often when we are getting a massage, for example, when we're at home or getting our hair cut, or at a yoga class, or, you know, out doing something for ourselves, instead of actually being in that moment and enjoying what is happening, we're thinking about things that happened before we got in there, or thinking about things that are going to happen after. And trust me when I tell you that those things will still be available to you after you're done with whatever it is you're doing to take care of yourself. Because of course, I would love for us to be able to go to Tulum every two months for five days and, you know, have this dedicated time. And I know that it's available to you if you choose it when you are in your everyday life. And even when you're in the hard parts, like being in those instead of wishing that you were somewhere else. Okay, so I didn't know I was going to coach on this call, but there you go. I can't help myself, damn it.

Okay, so you guys have kind of already alluded to this, but I just want to make sure that it's clear. So I wrote down how did the retreat help you get closer to your favorite version of you? And for some of you that may have just been signing up, right, like Krystin seeing it in her email and being like, oh, no, I don't have time for this. And then seeing it again, and being like, oh, shit, maybe I need to make time for this. It could be something that happened there. It could be something that's changed for you in the past couple of weeks since we've been home. Is there anything that you guys want to share that's different than what you said about your favorite thing about the retreat from that question? 

Krystin 

Yeah, I think, you know, we coached on this a little bit on the retreat, um, Melissa, but I think in some of my prior coaching experiences, like the coaching was what I needed at the time, which was very like task oriented and like helping me make some important transitions in my career and parenting young kids. And so we coached on a lot of those things, but I think the retreat was the first time that we coached a lot on like feeling the feelings that I, I hadn't felt in a while or could suppress since like my seven year old self. So, um, you know, I found myself even since joining groups, since we've been back, like starting to be more intentional about finding that connection with myself, um, and my emotions and helping my children feel the emotions. And so it's been a different coaching experience, but I think the coaching that I like need now at this point in my life, if that maybe I didn't need three years ago, so it's been, it's been fun to see that transition. 

Melissa 

Yeah, that's so amazing. And so many of us are in a stage of life where, you know, we really do need to take action and do things and that type of thing. And it's really easy to avoid feeling your feelings in the world that we live in, because we could all work 24/7, we could all watch Netflix 24/7, we could all be like me and read romance novels 24/7. Um, you know, we could be involved in our kids activities and, you know, completely ignore ourselves. So yeah, that ability to, like, slow down and realize, okay, like, what is going to happen if I don't actually feel these feelings that I've needed to feel that have been waiting for me? Like, they're not going anywhere, they're going to be there waiting for you until you decide that you want to feel them. So I'm so grateful that you came on the retreat. I'm so grateful that you said yes to yourself again for the group, because I can't wait to dig in and really help you to be able to do that. So thank you for trusting me to come on the retreat and then to sign up for a group again. It's an honor. All right. Anybody else? Care to share anything? 

Gina 

To kind of go back to your question, Melissa, that I was proud of myself for signing up and making the time. But even through our coaching while there, I kind of admitted that I didn't know how to explain this thing that I'm doing for myself to people back home. So while we're in Tulum, we had a coaching session around feeling almost ashamed, a little bit of shame of doing something like this for myself and how I would describe it. And I'm happy to share that I've made it a point to really talk about it to people I work with, my family, my friends. And it's been– and not as a point of bragging, just a point of like if people have asked and, you know, I'm not saying, oh, I went on a work trip or I went on a vacation. I've been very intentional about like, I went on this amazing experience. We're going to spend a week doing these really cool things, but most importantly, just learning more about how to be true to myself and what's been, I shouldn't be surprised, but what has been so surprising is every single person I've talked to male, female coworker friend is like, how cool, how brave somebody actually said, what, what that took courage. I can't wait to tell my wife, like these really great things that I don't know why I told myself before, like people were going to judge me. And now I'm like, who cares? I'm like, I'm so in one, I'm proud of myself for doing it. And now coming on the other side of it, I'm proud of myself for not hiding behind it. I don't know what other way to describe it and being able to share the experience with others, if only because it was an amazing experience for myself. So that's something that I've literally on Thursday, just this past couple of days ago, had a chance to catch up with somebody who'd been out of town. And he's telling me his vacation. I'm telling him mine. He's like, oh my gosh, that is incredible. And he was the one who said that takes a lot of courage to do something like that for yourself. And he was the one who says, I can't wait to tell my wife, she needs to do something like this. So I just thought that was really cool. Yeah. So all those amazing things we did, and that's typically what we talk about with vacations, air quotes, but to do something like this, where it was really about searching and being present with one's selves. I don't know, just being able to share that with others. When three months ago when I signed up, it was like, Oh my gosh, am I doing this? I can't tell anybody. So very different. My husband knows how to describe to my friends and family. I don't know what to describe. I'd never been, so I didn't know what to expect. And now I'm shouting it from the room.

Melissa 

It's so interesting, right? Because I think a lot of you had that sentiment, right? And that worry. And if any one of your friends or, you know, people that you cared about told you that they were gonna do this for themselves, you would never be like, why? Or like, who do you think you are? You'd be like, that's amazing. That's incredible. So it just goes to show how we just don't extend the same grace and kindness and compassion and love to ourselves that we do to other people, right? So like, at least give yourself some of it. So thank you for sharing that, that's awesome. 

Okay, many of you, and actually most of you didn't know each other before coming to the retreat. A couple of you did because you were in groups with each other. And several of you commented about how easily you connected with the other women in the group. So you guys have kind of talked about it, but does anyone care to say a little bit more about that? 

Colleen 

I'll say more about that. Once again, I haven't had this kind of experience in a long time, maybe since college or childhood or something like that. I mean, and I did, I just felt so connected and there was so much warmth and acceptance. And for me, that was exactly what I needed. I have a lot of existential dread and, you know, and it just, it was so amazing. Just the connection and the kindness and yeah, it just, it was just so lovely and warm and it just felt like a warm blanket and you felt very comfortable sharing. And that was just, that was just amazing to me. 

Melissa 

Yeah, so good. I think I will toot my own horn here, because I think when we were in the bus on the way from the airport in Tulum, which is amazing. I kind of set the container and said what the expectations were and basically told you guys that this was going to be a no judgment zone. And I think just hearing that and knowing that you could participate in everything, you didn't have to participate in anything, you know, that what, you know, happened in Tulum was going to stay in Tulum, unless you guys brought it up on the podcast, that we wouldn't be talking about the coaching stuff outside of the coaching container, even when we were in Tulum, I think it creates a lot of safety for people to share and be exactly who they are. And, you know, I think that it's important to have that safety, that sense of safety, so that you can, you know, because we're not talking about surface level stuff, when we're coaching, typically, we're talking about deep things and things that are impactful to you and the people that you love and you know, that type of thing. So I think really, having someone like me who can hold the space and remind you guys that we're not here to judge each other ever. And that our left brain is gonna want to judge ourselves when we're speaking, and it's gonna want to judge other people and that nothing has gone wrong when that happens, but to notice it and, you know, so toot toot. 

Colleen 

Yeah, and I think even and I kept thinking about this because you said it a few times like oh I'm going to talk with these people make sure that they mesh I mean that was very intentional for you. You weren't just letting anyone show up.

Melissa 

Yeah, I think, you know, when I do it again, I definitely will do consults again, just to make sure for anybody who has not worked with me that they will, you know, follow the rules and listen to the guidelines and, you know, be coachable and all the things that I ask of you guys. So yes, I was very intentional and I thought that the size of our group, having eight of us, including myself, was incredible. I initially had wanted to have more people, but of course the universe gives you exactly what you need. And so I thought that the size of the group was really nice too and hopefully you guys all felt like you got plenty of time to, you know, get coaching for yourself and to listen to the coaching from other people and then also plenty of time to rest and relax and that type of thing. So, okay. Anyone else care to share on that question about the connection in the group? 

Jenn 

Something that you just said sparked for me. Like one night we did do group coaching kind of late. Like, I think we might've gotten back to our room around like 11, 10, 11. And I remember Colleen and I were like, whoa, this is late. 

Melissa 

Considering I go to bed at 8:30. Yes, it was late. 

Jenn 

Yeah, I don't know. It was just kind of a little fun moment.

Melissa 

We’re getting wild and crazy in Tulum! With our hibiscus tea and I think that night was like a strawberry dessert of some kind. So yeah, that's amazing. Yeah, we were one wild and crazy bunch.

I do think I was very proud at the end of the retreat when Kendall, the owner, came up to us and basically started crying and saying, you know, your group is the type of group that I envisioned using this place. And she said to me, I don't know what you're doing with coaching these ladies, but whatever it is, keep it up because this has been the most amazing group. And she, of course, said, we love all of our guests, but we all know we were her favorites. But, you know, when you, you know, she said, I host, you know, hundreds of people, thousands of people probably every year. And, you know, she said, she said to me privately, she's like, you are the real deal. So, she just loved having us. So that I think says a lot about the group of women that were there. So thank you guys for being exactly yourselves. 

So who has been practicing being a lazy motherfucker since they've gotten home? Does anyone want to share that story? Sara raised her hand, so I'll make her do it. 

Sara 

Well, that was lovely Natalia who spent a little time with us after, I think it was the first yoga session or maybe no, the second one. I don't remember. It was the second one. Was it? Okay. And we were getting ready to eat our breakfast and she was having coffee with us before heading to her modeling photo shoot, of course. Natalia, her life is just, it's so amazing. Amazing individual that we got to meet and spend time with. But she was talking about Tulum. And when she first came there that everyone seemed like they were just kind of not really doing anything and no one was really ambitious and out there getting after it. And she said, I thought, well, these lazy motherfuckers. I was here for a while. And she kind of told us her story and yoga and all that stuff. And basically got to the point where she's proud to be a lazy motherfucker. And we were like, yeah, that's what we should aspire to. In a good way, you know, talking about laziness and a nurturing way for ourselves, you know, like taking time for ourselves and not just always be running from one thing to the next. I think all of us were like, yes, you know, yeah. Yeah. I like the smoke. Oh, yeah. Yeah. 

Melissa 

We had a lot of laughs. We said we might call the retreat next time. We cry then we eat or we eat then we cry. Because we did alternate between eating amazing food cooked for us by the private chefs, Tulum private chefs, and you know, getting coaching and crying because we were crying or laughing until we were crying. So it was incredible. 

Anybody else want to speak to them being an LMF since they've gotten home? Just so you guys know, I had to get coaching on this last week because I was feeling guilty that I don't have any clients on Tuesdays. And I was feeling guilty because on Tuesday, I didn't get out of bed until like 10:30. I laid in bed and read my book and drank my coffee and responded to emails, you know, just being an LMF. And, you know, I still am caught up in productivity is king and or queen, whatever. And so I was talking to my coach about it. And she said, wait a minute. She's like, we've been working on creating this life for you intentionally for the past six years. Don't tell me we're gonna make it wrong for you now to do what you've been planning and you know, working toward for the past six years. And I was just like, oh, damn, you're right. I am doing that. Like I'm doing that to myself. And this is the life that I wanted to create for myself instead of having to, you know, get up at 5am to work out before I showered to go to the office and be there at 7:50 before seeing patients all day and then rushing home and trying to, you know, do all the kids stuff and the activities in the afternoon and that type of thing or the evening. And I was like, oh, yeah, this is… So just in case you're wondering if this, you know, might come up again, and you might need to remind yourself that it's okay to, you know, live an LMF lifestyle not all the time, right? And there's never been a time where I needed to get something done, and it didn't get done, knock on wood. But reminding yourself that it's okay to take a breath, take a beat, take time for yourself, all that kind of good stuff. So, okay. Anything else you guys want to share? Anything that I didn't ask that you think that people need to know? 

Jenn 

When's the next one? 

Melissa 

I haven't planned it yet but there will be a next one there was there was some question about I wanted to see if I could do it you know before saying that I was gonna do another one and thanks to you guys I and you know thanks to the work that I put into it and of course thanks to Kendall we did it and it was amazing and there will be another one I don't know where though I might need your guys help deciding I mean I would love to go back to Tulum I don't think going back there in August is gonna be the best plan I think it might be a little little too hot to do anything worth doing but what I'm thinking is maybe doing going somewhere else in the fall and then going back to Tulum in January February of 2026. So that's the tentative plan at this point is that the right answer Jennnifer?

Jenn 

Yes. 

Melissa 

All right. Yeah. If anyone was trying to decide if they should come, I mean, I know you guys are all going to say, just do it. But is there anything else that you would tell them to reassure them or to convince them to take some time for themselves? 

Colleen 

Well, this kind of goes to what Gina said and what you gave coaching to me on the first night. I was worried about putting extra pressure on my work colleagues and that no one has usually done this because someone else was already on vacation, but I just knew I had to do this. And so it was a big step for me and my people pleasing ways that still come up occasionally. And I think most people actually, once you do tell them, they are totally like, of course, that sounds amazing, but I think you get in your own way. I think a lot of us will get in our own way. And you said something to me, you said, because I was specifically worried about one colleague particularly, and she's like, do you want their life or do you want to live their life or something like that? Or is that someone you want to be like? 

Melissa 

Mm-hmm. 

Colleen 

And if the answer is no, then, you know, why would you want to be that person or do something because they want you to do it? Like, I don't know, I'm messing it up, but it was just great. 

Melissa 

Yeah. Why does their opinion matter if you won't trade lives with that person? 

Colleen 

Right, exactly. And that was really some great coaching and it, it even blew over and it turned out fine, right? But that was, that was really good coaching. Because I think most people are going to be like, I can't not be there for my kids for five days. And I can't, you know, take off work. And, and I think another thing I said a few times, what if I died? Like everyone has to, everyone will figure it out if I died. So, you know, if you're having trouble making this commitment to say, what if you died? Pretend I'm dead. And give people that agency, they can do it. People, you know, it's a little bit of a perfectionism too, like only we can do the things.

Melissa 

Yeah, I'll never forget your initial response, Colleen. You were like, oh, I'm sorry. No. My other colleague is out that week, so I can't come. And I was like, oh, but what if you could? And then you figured it out. 

Colleen 

That was such a revelation to me, like, and what if you could? And I love that I've put that in my brain as an option right and especially this is, you know, the last third of my career, my life, and it's about time. 

Melissa 

Yeah. And it's certainly, you know, that coaching wasn't, it was about coming on the retreat retreat, but it was about the broader spectrum of your life too. Like what are we telling ourselves that we can't do because it might affect another person that we actually can do. And, you know, it may affect them, but for a short period of time and they'll be okay. 

Gina 

Yeah, I would just add, like, I feel like if someone's listening to this and has stayed on this long to listen to our words and they're even considering it for just a teeny bit, like, oh, something is telling them that they should. And then they list 20 reasons why they shouldn't. I want them to go back to that one reason why they should, because I'm telling you, you'll figure it out. And I don't think you'll regret it. Like, I don't regret one second after I bought that plane ticket and knew that this was on the books. I haven't regretted it for one second. And honestly, and I'm not just saying this because I'm amongst you, amazing, beautiful women. And Melissa, you're our amazing coach. It's truly, it was truly life-changing. And so I'm like, you're going to list 20 reasons why you used to say no. Go back to that one reason why you're listening this far to say, maybe I should. Yeah. Yes, you should. 

Melissa 

That little voice inside you that really does want to do something. Yeah. So good. 

Sara 

I was thinking it's just so important to say yes to ourselves, you know, yeah, that little voice, that one thing, all it takes is one reason. That's all you need. You don't need a whole list of reasons to say yes to yourself, but I oftentimes find myself feeling guilty or like it's selfish, but I really want to change that way of thinking because not only do we need to do it for ourselves, but other people are watching, you know, and little ones are watching, you know, and I want my kids, I want my daughter to see that, you know, it's okay to say yes to yourself, we need to, you know, be that example for other people too, who've talked to so many women, I won't shut up about this retreat and just telling women of all ages that I know, you know, like, whatever it is, do it for, you know, like, say yes, if you have a feeling that you might want to do something or that this is the thing, whatever it is, do it, because yeah, you won't regret it for one single second. 

Melissa 

Yeah. And speaking to the kids aspect of this, you know, several people way smarter than me have had, have said something about, you know, the best gift that you can give to your kids is a healthy, happy healing version of yourself. So I think that the work that we did, certainly in coaching and certainly on the retreat, you know, all of you went home, and me too, a little bit healthier, a little bit more healed, a little bit more in touch with that inner knowing inner intuition that we have. And that's never going to be a bad thing.

If you're still listening at like 50 some minutes. Thank you. I like to think that people are listening with rapt attention and they want to hear every word that we have. 

Gina 

I do, every week, Melissa. 

Melissa 

That's amazing. All right, ladies, thank you so much for trusting me. Thank you so much for coming on and sharing your experience and your wisdom and your beauty. And I think that as with all things with the podcast, I just hope it helps so many other people who are searching to come back to a favorite version of themselves. So all right, see you all next week.

Hey, hold up. Before I let you go today, I've got something that might just change your life if you let it. And no, that's not an April Fool's joke, even though that's exactly when this is happening. 

Mark your calendar for April 1st. Yes, April Fool's Day, because the universe has a sense of humor and so do I. I'm hosting a workshop called Figure Out What You Want, the five steps high achievers need to go from frustration to ease. And trust me, the only fool you'll be is if you miss it.

For all of you overachievers who excel at everything except figuring out what the hell you actually want, this one is for you. You know who you are, brilliant at solving everyone else's problems but drawing a complete blank when it comes to your own desires.

In this webinar, I'll be sharing why you're not broken for not knowing what you want. Spoiler, it's by design, not by accident. My simple five step process that's helped so many of my clients get unstuck. How to stop polling the audience every time you need to make a decision. And why the thought “I'll figure it out on my own,” might be the biggest lie you're telling yourself. You'll walk away with actual tools, not just inspirational fluff that fades by tomorrow.

And for those ready to do the real work, I'll share my details about my Your Favorite You Group coaching program kicking off April 23rd. To register, just head to MelissaParsonsCoaching.com/workshop. Spots are filling up faster than your Amazon cart during a stress shopping episode. Ask me how I know.

So if you're tired of not knowing what you want or worse, knowing but not doing anything about it, this is your sign. Come hang out with me on April Fool's Day and let's make it no joke that you start prioritizing yourself. Until next week, remember, everyone else has an opinion about your life, but only one opinion actually matters: yours.