#115 Finding Light in the Darkness

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Hey, this is Melissa Parsons, and you are listening to the Your Favorite You Podcast. I'm a certified life coach with an advanced certification in deep dive coaching. The purpose of this podcast is to help brilliant women like you with beautiful brains create the life you've been dreaming of with intentions. My goal is to help you find your favorite version of you by teaching you how to treat yourself as your own best friend.

If this sounds incredible to you and you want practical tips on changing up how you treat yourself, then you're in the right place. Just so you know, I'm a huge fan of using all of the words available to me in the English language, so please proceed with caution if young ears are around.

Hey everyone, welcome back to Your Favorite You.

I'm so grateful that you're here once again. After the election debacle, I recorded a bonus episode for all of you where you got my unedited, tearful thoughts and reflections. I wanted to take a moment to be more intentional with my thoughts and provide value in a more generalized way for times when things just generally suck. So this is the episode that I came up with, and I hope it helps.

Life has a way of throwing curve balls, and the results of this election were one hell of a curve ball for me. One thought that's really helped me since the election was provided to me by my aesthetician, Katie. Hi, Katie. She said, I was so shocked by the results, and so were all of my friends. We must be hanging out with the right people. And I was like, Yes, my friends and I were also shocked by the results, so I know that I too am hanging out with the right people. Thanks for hanging out here with me and being my people.

OK, so whether it's a personal crisis, a professional setback, a global event that shakes our very foundation, we all face moments when it feels like the world is crumbling around us. In these times of darkness, where uncertainty really shows its face, it's easy to feel lost, overwhelmed, and alone. But even in the midst of the storm, there's hope, there's light, and there is a way forward.

Often when things are really dark, you have to search a little harder, look a little longer, but there is light there, always. Even if it's just a tiny pinprick of light. Go to the tiny pinprick of light and be with it as often as possible. When life sucks, our first instinct might be to push away the pain, to distract ourselves from the discomfort, or to numb our emotions. It turns out the only way out is through.

I've said this before, and I'll say it again in many different ways. We must be willing to sit with our feelings, to give them space and attention, and to listen to what they're trying to tell us. This isn't always easy, and it is necessary for healing and growth.

One of the most powerful tools I've found for navigating difficult emotions is journaling. There's something incredibly cathartic about putting pen to paper and letting our thoughts and feelings flow freely. I offer that when you journal, you should not edit yourself in any way. Just let what is coming to mind find its way to the page. It's a way to give voice to the parts of ourselves that we may be afraid to show to the world. And it's a way to gain clarity and insight from our own internal landscape.

If I'm ever feeling stuck in my journaling, I use a method that I learned from one of my teachers, psychologist Bonnie Badenoch. The method is to write the question you're trying to answer in your dominant hand, and then use your non-dominant hand to answer. It's incredible what you can find if you use both hemispheres of your brain this way. That is what this method allows, you to use the untapped resources of both brain hemispheres. What you find might be incredibly insightful.

Another way to find solace and strength in challenging times is to seek out moments of solitude and reflection. This might mean taking a walk by yourself in nature, practicing meditation, or simply finding a quiet corner of your home where you can be alone with your thoughts. A place where you can literally sit and do nothing but look out the window, watch sunlight travel across the floor, or gaze into a fire if you have a fireplace. Hopefully you get the idea. In these moments of stillness, we can begin to tap into our own inner wisdom and light.

Next week on the podcast, I am going to be interviewing an incredible coach and somatic practitioner, Victoria Albina, and she's going to talk to us about ways to use our body and somatic experiences to feel our feelings. So if that is something that interests you, please, please tune in next week. I'm very excited for our conversation.

Okay, so while looking inward and introspection is important, it is equally essential to remember that we don't have to face the suck of life alone. When we're struggling, it can be tempting to isolate ourselves, to withdraw from the world and suffer quietly and alone. Believe me, I have wanted to hibernate these past couple weeks and not leave the house. But the truth is, we need each other more than ever in these moments.

You can reach out to the people that you love, who want to love you back, even if you don't know what to say. You can join a support group or attend a workshop. You can join my coaching program or come to my retreat in January, where you can connect with others who are navigating similar challenges. Seeking out the guidance of a therapist, coach or mentor who can offer a listening ear and perhaps a different perspective is always recommended.

Again, as Mr. Rogers so brilliantly taught us, look for the helpers. There is something incredibly powerful about being seen, heard, and understood by another human being. When we share our stories and our struggles, we begin to see that we are not alone. We begin to find strength in our common humanity. This is one of the things I love most about the coaching groups I participate in and in the coaching groups I lead.

In the midst of personal or global crises, it's easy to fall into the trap of feeling helpless and hopeless. But one of the most effective ways to combat these feelings is to focus on what we can control. We may not be able to change the situation, but we can choose how we respond to it. We can choose to respond without reacting.

One way to find meaning and purpose in difficult times like these is to look for ways to be of service. Volunteer at a local charity, offer support to a friend in need, or simply practice random acts of kindness. When we start to take good care of ourselves, we can find it easier to shift our attention from our own struggles to include the needs of others. So this is not about sacrificing and not including ourselves. It's about including the needs of others once we've taken care of ourselves or as we take care of ourselves. We can then tap into a deep well of compassion and empathy for ourselves first, and then we can spread that compassion and empathy to other people.

Another way to take inspired action is to use our voices to speak out against injustice and advocate for change. Write letters to your representatives, participate in peaceful protests, donate your time and/or your money to causes that you believe in, or simply engage in honest conversations with friends and family. Remember, every action matters, no matter how small.

Now is also the time, if you haven't already, to create boundaries for yourself. You likely will need a different level of support than you've needed in the past. And I encourage you to speak up and to ask for what you need. If being in relationship with someone is not bringing you peace, you can take action to protect your peace as an act of loving yourself and loving others. Life will always have its challenges, and we have a choice in how we meet them.

We can choose to let the darkness consume us, or we can choose to find the light. We can choose to isolate ourselves, or we can choose to reach out and connect. We can choose to stay stuck in our pain, or we can choose to take inspired action toward healing and growth.

There's not a timeline on this, folks, so if you're not ready, that's OK. Just know that there are choices available to you when you do feel ready. The journey through difficult times is not easy, but it's always worth it.

Usually on the other side of struggle is a deeper understanding of ourselves, a greater appreciation for the preciousness of our own life, and a fiercer commitment to living our truth. So if you're in the midst of darkness right now, just know that you're not alone. Know that you do have strength to weather any storm, and know that there is always, always hope.

Please keep shining your light, my friends. The world needs it now more than ever. I know I'm going to continue to shine mine.

See you next week.

Hey everyone, it's still me, Melissa Parsons, and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for tuning in to these episodes.

While I hope you found value in this short time together, I have some exciting news for those of you who might be craving more. If you're ready to take the next step in your personal growth journey, I would like to invite you to join me for an incredible workshop on Thursday, December 12th, 2024 at 7:00 PM Eastern. This is your chance to dive deep and start to transform your life with the support of a caring mentor. That's me.

Do any of these resonate with you? You might feel like you've stopped dreaming about your life. You might not know what you want anymore. You might know what you want, but something keeps holding you back. If you nodded your head to any of these, or all of these, then this workshop is tailor-made for you.

Together, we'll uncover the reasons behind your struggles, help you make sense of why you've done what you've done so far, and equip you with the tools and strategies to break through the barriers and reclaim some curiosity, compassion, confidence, and calm going forward.

In this Figure Out What You Want workshop, we'll walk through 5 powerful steps to help high achievers like you go from frustration to ease. You'll gain clarity, reignite your passion, and leave with the beginning road map to creating the life you truly want.

This time of year is busy, so claim these two hours on your calendar for yourself now. Head over to melissaparsonscoaching.com/workshop to sign up for the workshop now. And hey, why not bring a friend along? Honestly, the more the merrier. I can't wait to connect with you live, answer your questions, and celebrate any breakthroughs. Let's make some magic happen together. See you on December 12th.