#112 Financial Empowerment with Jack Parsons and Andrea Nameche

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Hey, this is Melissa Parsons, and you are listening to the Your Favorite You Podcast. I'm a certified life coach with an advanced certification in deep dive coaching. The purpose of this podcast is to help brilliant women like you with beautiful brains create the life you've been dreaming of with intentions. My goal is to help you find your favorite version of you by teaching you how to treat yourself as your own best friend.

If this sounds incredible to you and you want practical tips on changing up how you treat yourself, then you're in the right place. Just so you know, I'm a huge fan of using all of the words available to me in the English language, so please proceed with caution if young ears are around.

Melissa

Hello everyone. Welcome back to Your Favorite You. I am so excited to share this episode with you today. Why you might ask? Because I am joined by my favorite oldest son, Jack and one of his mentors at his career, an incredible woman that I have had the pleasure of getting to know over the past two years: Andrea Nameche.

Jack earned his internship after his junior year of college at a local company called Lifetime Financial Growth. And then he was offered a protege  position during his senior year at Ohio State and has continued to work there. Andrea has been incredibly helpful to him, which of course, endears her to me forever and ever. You can't get rid of me, Andrea. 

So I have a confession to make, and I think I'm not unlike a lot of other women in my position, but. I really started paying attention to our family finances once I started thinking about retiring from my career as a pediatrician and I wanted to go all in on being an entrepreneur and I realize now how privileged I was not to have to pay attention.

And I honestly was a little bit ashamed and disappointed in myself that I had not paid attention and that I had outsourced this job and this worry to my hubby. So I actually wrote on the top of one of my journal pages back in the day, “How did I become a woman who does not know the basics of her family's finances?”

So that epiphany led me to a conversation with Jon that I had been avoiding and eventually landed Jon and me in Andrea's office with Andrea and Jack helping me to understand the awesome job that Jon had done so far, and then what our options were going forward to do even better. So I've asked Andrea and Jack to come here and to share their expertise with all of you, because if you're like me and you're thinking that it's beyond you, or, you know, you're embarrassed to admit that you don't know as much as you've, you know, pretended to know this is the episode for you. So you guys ready? 

Andrea

Sure. 

Jack

Yes.  

Melissa

So everyone who comes on the podcast - which as we all know, is called Your Favorite You -  is first asked to tell my listeners about their favorite versions of themselves. This is not a trick question. This is just about what lights you up and what makes you happy.  I will ask who wants to go first. Raise your hand kids.

Andrea, you get to go first!

Andrea

I'll go first. I'll go first. Um, you know, I'm a big fan of strength finders. And when I took my strength finders, one of the things that it shared with me that helped me understand why I love this career is that I truly like people and I like people's stories. I'm very interested in like your life and “How did you get here? And where are you going?” And you know, we get to play a part in that. And so I think I am a people person. I do like people. And I like knowing, you know, what have they been through? What have they experienced? And it's just amazing.

Everybody's life is different. And that to me is very interesting. So it's one of the things I like, and I like my two puppies. 

Melissa

What are your puppies names? 

Andrea

Oh, we have Ruby, the Labradoodle, um, and Thorin, the long coated German Shepherd.

Melissa

Oh, wow. 

Andrea

Yeah. 

Melissa

One shedder and one non-shedder. 

Andrea

Exactly. German Shepherds are not German Shepherds, they're German Shedders. 

Melissa

Yeah. I'm imagining that Thorin makes up for in hair, what Ruby is keeping on her body. 

Andrea

Yes. We had Thorin first. And so Ruby came along as a natural consequence. We need one that doesn't do that. 

Melissa

Amazing. Amazing. All right, Jack, your turn, bud.

Jack

Um, my favorite version of myself is just being active physically and mentally. Um, on the physical side, I like to work out  four to five times a week, whether that be strength training through lifting weights or cardio. I'm sure you and dad like it when I come home twice a week to ride the peloton for cardio. 

Melissa

I love it. 

Jack

I'm trying to stay at the house for 30 minutes. I end up staying for a couple hours because  you will not let me leave.

Andrea

And sometimes there's dinner. 

Jack

Yeah, true. And you know, that's a plus for me. Um, but I have to actually get home and make dinner for Anna. So sometimes I don't even get that. So, um, but I like to go on walks, um,  around my neighborhood with Anna. Um, and then on the staying active on the mentally side I just like to learn, um, whether that be watching YouTube videos or, um, reading books. But I just like to stay active physically and mentally.

Melissa

Love it. All right. So tell me, Andrea, what first got you interested in financial services? And I'm going to ask you the same question next, Jack. So be thinking on what you want to say while Andrea enlightens us. 

Andrea

So, um, I like to tell people that I am not a visionary.  And so when I graduated from college, two career paths presented themselves: insurance and computers. Well, this is the 80s. Computers? What's that? So I smartly chose insurance and I spent about 11 years doing commercial insurance with Nationwide.

Um, and then I decided I wanted to build my own practice, do my own thing, and my mom, coincidentally, was trying to lean into her money and finances. She had a lovely advisor, um, who was doing a good job, but who said, “Well, try to spend as little as possible, and we'll kind of see how everything works out.” 

I'm like, “Wait, isn't there something a little bit better than that? Isn't there a method or a process? Can't somebody give us some rules or some guidelines?” So in exploring how to find a better way for my mom, I ended up finding a career path for myself. That was 20 some years ago.

Melissa

And what has led you to want to mentor the younger people in your company? 

Andrea

Oh my gosh, if I could go back and do my life over and I could have somebody helping me make smarter financial decisions. Wow, you know, so much less pressure and so much less stress in life and more opportunities. 

And so I find that younger clients and younger advisors like Jack are interested in learning. And so, um, he brings a lot of skill because he doesn't have all the old baggage and, um, embracing the learning. And this is a career that you can learn in every single day.

Melissa

I love that answer. It's incredible. How about you, Jack? What got you interested in financial services?

Jack

Yeah, it took me a while to find a career path that I thought that I could really, you know, go all in with. I grew up obviously in a family with two doctors and I saw you and dad, you know, find benefit from your job outside of just making an income, um, and providing for Owen and I. And I saw that you guys, you know, helped people with your work and that was something that I wanted to do as well.

And so I thought it'd be easy to just be a doctor and, uh, I quickly found out…

Melissa

So easy.

Jack

Well, you know, yeah. Not easy, but I just felt like it'll come naturally to me. It did not. Through my first semester at Ohio State, I took the intro to biology and the intro to chem, and it was way over my head and I was just thinking to myself, you know, if I can't even do the intro courses, I probably got to make a detour because this is not going to work out. But I still wanted to help people in a similar way that you and dad did. I just didn't know how I could do that. And then I shadowed a financial advisor over at Edward Jones after my freshman year at Ohio State, and I saw some similarities in the medical field and the financial services field. Just how, you know, those two professions are able to help the people that they interact with. And that's really what got me hooked into the profession. And then I declared for, um, the business school at Ohio State, the Fisher College of Business.

And then I found LFG at a career fair my junior year, and did the internship program, as you said. And I worked with them throughout my senior year of college, and I've just really enjoyed it so far.

Melissa

That's amazing. I remember when you came home and said that you had a job  like in your junior year and that you could continue if you wanted, you know, if it went well and you wanted to, and I was like, wait, like, I thought I had still another whole year to like be worried about where you were going to end up and what you were going to do.

Jack

I remember you were on the fence about it more than - Dad was like, “Yeah, you should do it.” And you were more on the fence, I do remember that. For sure. 

Melissa

Well, because from my life coaching perspective, I was like… 

Jack

You want me to enjoy senior year. You just thought that I wasn't going to be able to do that, but they were super flexible about, you know, just, you know, still being able to enjoy, you know, college and still be a senior. And they understood that I wasn't going to, you know, be full time or coming to the office five days a week. And I still had class to go to, and I still did, you know, finish out my time at Ohio State strong, but they were super flexible. And yeah, I'm really glad I did it. 

Melissa

Yeah. And as with all worries as a parent, most for me at least, like the things I worried about never came true. Just a big old story that my brain was telling me.

Tell me, Andrea, I'm going to ask you first again. Basically what are you trying to accomplish with your clients? Like what gets you out of bed in the morning? What, what do you feel is your mission? Your purpose?  

Andrea

Well, I love the education approach that we have as a firm, which is to try to help empower people on how do we make good money decisions because they spend a little bit of time with me and then they go off and live their life and there are financial decisions all the time.

And so when I'm working with a couple, I'm trying to give them a common money language. Typically one partner learned from their parents or families what they wanted to do or good golly, we're never going to do that. And the other partner, the same. And now you come together and you're going to try to run a household and it's like my way or your way or whose way is it?

And so rather than it being one or the other, who's right or who's wrong, let's learn like how it really can be. And so I think that's really empowering and Gives less friction over money and finance and relationships. And so that feels good. And if they learn that common money language and they know how to make decisions, one of my favorite phone calls to get is, we think we know what you're going to say, but we just want to make sure. And that feels good because, you know, then they're learning and they're more successful and we try to have fun. You know, we're educating, we're having fun very collaboratively. Especially working with younger people, when you see them build success, and I've seen clients build amazing success in five years and 10 years, and they're beyond where they ever thought they could be, and I've been able to play a part of that. It's incredibly rewarding. 

Melissa

Yeah, what I'm hearing from you, and correct me if I'm wrong, is you're asking people, “What do you want?” Like you've learned all this stuff from your family of origin, but what do you actually want, right? How do you want to think about money? How do you want to think about your finances, that type of thing, and then empowering them to go out and make those choices and try it and see how they like it and that type of thing and with obviously a lot of education.

Andrea

Yeah, where everybody how they got to this point in life is all different going back to I like learning people's stories. So how'd they get here? You know, were they married before, divorced, not married before, you know, young couple, kids, no kids, plans to have kids, whatever. So how did you get here? And when we know where you're here and then like, well, where are you going? What does a good financial life and just a good life look like to you?

You know, is it traveling? Is it vacation? Is it retiring early? Is it doing good in your community when you know, though, here was where we are and here's where we want to go now. I'm just helping you move toward there. 

Melissa

It's kind of like putting your destination in ways and seeing all the different routes that you could possibly take. And then I'm sure there are some times where it's like, “Oh, that road's actually closed.” Like, it's a detour. “What do we want to do now?” I really enjoy that for you and for everybody that you help. That's awesome. 

How about you, Jack? What would you say? What gets you out of bed in the morning? And what are you trying to accomplish with the people that you're working with?

Jack

Yeah, I think the goal for me is just to educate the people that I interact with. I'd say about 90 percent of the work that I do with the people I've met with so far is just, I'm taking a look at what they currently have in place and seeing if there are any areas that they may consider giving more attention to. Whenever I meet with someone, the first meeting is, you know, just getting to know them on a personal level. Like Andrea said, like, “How did you get here? What does your past look like? What are past decisions that you've had?”

And then we look at, you know, “What are your goals now? What are you trying to accomplish in the next 5 to 10 years?” We like to take our clients through, you know, LFG's history and then take them through proprietary software that we use with all of our clients called the Living Balance Sheet. It helps our clients, we say, give them a 30,000 foot view of their current financial position.

As far as my goal, I just want to help people with my work and, you know, get paid based on my ability to do so. But more importantly, I'd like to build a personal relationship with the people that I meet with because I just feel like that will make me have more of an incentive to help them out. Not that I wouldn't if we don't have a personal relationship, but I feel like if I have a personal connection with someone, I'm going to always, you know, put their views or their needs as my top priority. 

Melissa

Yeah. I love that. I'll never forget when dad and I first came in to meet with you and Andrea for the first time. And, you know, I'm like, your mom. So you're like describing everything and taking us through it. So I was sitting there with your dad, looking at him thinking, how the heck does he know all this stuff?

Like, and you were like, “Well, mom, I have been going to school for the past several years and I have been an intern here.” And I was just so blown away by  how you were able to show us where we were on the living balance sheet. And, you know, where it made sense and like I said before, how dad had done such a good job.

And, you know, he left that meeting… We went in both nervous, like, “Oh gosh, they're going to tell us that, you know, we have to make all this more money to be financially secure,” and that type of thing. And dad left the meeting feeling all puffed up about how well he had done. And it was a big relief for him.

And, I think, a relief for me too, because I just wanted, you know, basic understanding. And what I loved about working with you guys is the fact that I didn't feel silly asking any questions. You were both so willing to like, slow it down. And at one point, Jack, I think you looked at me and you're like, “You're confused.” I was like, “Yes,” and you went back and helped me to understand. So it was an eye opening meeting for me, for sure, in more ways than one. 

Jack

So I think the Living Balance Sheet helps with that too. I just think it's a very simple thing for if you have no background in finance, it's just a very easy thing to digest. It'll give you a scorecard basically on how you're doing in different areas of your current financial situation. It's just very easy to digest. I think that what I've heard from people that I've worked with, that's a huge piece for us. And I think that's what differentiates us between other financial firms. It's just that ability for someone to come in with no prior experience and just really walk away from the meeting, having a good understanding of where they currently stand and what they need to work on. 

Andrea

And I think it's all on 1 page. And so it's easy to see, like, if I make a decision. What's it going to be two or three years or four years down the road. And we educate exactly like Jack has said, and clients are going to make their own decision. And sometimes they make the decision that makes sense to us. And sometimes they make a different decision, but the door is always open. And sometimes they come back and they go, man, you know, I just couldn't get it, but now I do. And now I see it. And, you know, it's like, it's okay, let's pick up and go from here. 

Melissa

Yeah, I mean, there's a reason that it's proprietary, right? Things don't become proprietary unless they're very valuable, right? So  there's a reason that it has that little proprietary tag on it.  Okay. What are some of the most common mistakes you guys see people making and how can they be avoided?

And  in addition to that, what thoughts might get in the way of someone seeking out to work with a financial advisor. You want to take this one first, Jack?  

Jack

As far as thoughts that people may have from, you know, seeking out help from an advisor, I just think some people may shy away from it because they don't want to give off the impression that they don't know as much as they should about their finances. But whenever I meet with someone, I stress that, you know, you don't know what you don't know. And if everyone knew everything there was to know about finances, then, you know, Andrea and I, you know, we'd be out of a job, there would be no need for us to sit down with you. And so I would say working with an advisor, it's just like working with any other professional, like a doctor or a life coach, you know, our goal is to help our clients reach their full financial potential.

And if, you know, we're starting at a point where the client doesn't know much about their current financial situation. That's fine. Um, you know, obviously there's more work that comes with that, but, um, like I said, if you knew everything already, then there'd be no need for someone in my profession to help you out. 

Melissa

Love that answer. How about you, sweet Andrea?

Andrea

I think often people think I don't have enough money to work with a financial advisor. And I had one client sum it up beautifully. He's like, well, how am I supposed to get money if I don't work with a financial advisor?

And I'm like, there you go. And so  we should be a resource and a tool to help you get where you want to go faster. And so I think that gets in their way. And I talked to a gentleman just this past week, and he was really, really stressing - he's in his middle thirties, three children - and just stressing that he was not on track and not on track.

And so in a 15 minute conversation, we were able to say, okay, based on your ages and your income for he and his wife, where should you be? He's well on track. He's doing great. And I could see him physically relax and feel good. That's what gets you up in the morning. 

Melissa

That's so good. I'm just now realizing how many parallels there are between coaching and being a financial advisor, because of course my people come to me, they've done all this stuff up to meeting me and they're not exactly where they want to be. And they have a point somewhere out in the future where they see their future version of themselves that they do want to be, and we work together to help them get there.

And then also the idea of they can do it on their own. And they will get so much further and faster if they work with someone else who has eyes on their situation. And, you know, like you said, you guys said from that 30,000 foot viewpoint, so important. 

Andrea

Yeah I could try to Google all the money and finance stuff and may or may not get it right. It may or may not be relevant for me. But if I'm working with somebody that can help, I'm working with a coach that's coached before. I'm working with a physician that is either been in practice for a while or has other people around that have been in practice for a while. I'm going to get my questions answered accurately and so much better than trying to… I'm going to get my questions answered accurately and so much better than trying to do it yourself.

Melissa

Yeah, I think there is so much that we might be working against in the do it yourself  generation of people who have been taught that they should be able to do everything by themselves and that they shouldn't need help. And I just want to say, I think that is a bunch of malarkey. That is not the word that I would normally use, but that's the one we're going to go with for today.

Andrea

And it's, you know, it's like anything, if you find the right fitness deck, you know, you like working out. And if you find the right fitness coach who figures out like what you want to work on and makes it fun and whatever, and they help put you on a trajectory, you may not need them with you all the time. And then you go off and do stuff. And then you may go back and get another fitness coach. And I talk about saving and the act of saving a lot, like building muscle. Right? And so there are a lot of parallels, I believe. 

Melissa

Yeah, I love that so much. Okay, so many of the folks that I know and the woman that I work with are really worried about having any debt whatsoever. So can we talk a little bit about debt? Is there such a thing as “good debt?” And if so, how can that be leveraged for people?

Jack

I don't know if I would say there's “good debt” but I do think that there are ways that you can use certain types of debt and the way that you choose to pay off that debt to help your financial situation. You know, I see that too, you know, sometimes people can become obsessed with paying off their debt and getting their debt off their books as soon as possible. And when that happens and you're contributing a large amount of your paycheck or your income to, uh, paying off your debt and you don't leave enough money in savings, you know, unexpected events can arise and, you know, that can cause some serious financial stress. You know, there are ways that you can use debts that you may have from student loans or your mortgage to your advantage. You can do that by lengthening the period, the amount of time that you're paying off that debt. And by doing that, you can have a smaller payment amount each time you have to pay. And what that does, that just creates more money for you to potentially put in a savings account to plan for those unexpected events or to, uh, potentially invest or to maybe spend on yourself to, you know, take your, you know, boyfriend or girlfriend out to dinner or, you know, take your family on a trip, um, things of that nature.

I will say though, like credit card debt, I would advise that you get off your books as soon as you possibly can, just because of the high interest rate. But if you get something that's a fixed payment, like a mortgage payment, or, um, like I said, student loan debt, you can lengthen that time that you have to pay the loan, but by doing so, you're having a lesser amount each payment that you have to, you know, contribute, if that makes sense.

Melissa

It does. That sounds awesome. Makes me happy that I'm still paying off my student loans from med school. Go ahead, Andrea, I'm sorry. 

Andrea

That's fine. Yeah. If you can lengthen the term, it doesn't mean that you have to take the full length of the term to pay off the debt, but that just to exactly to Jack's point, the ability to have a lower payment allows you to save, invest and grow well. And then you put yourself in a position to say, “Okay, now do I choose to pay it off? And can I pay it off from a position of strength rather than from a position of, let me throw everything at my debt?” Which is what we're told in the public media to do. And that ends up exactly as Jack said, something happens in life and you don't have any money because all your money went toward paying off debt and now you're back in debt. And so it's this vicious cycle. 

It's like, um, people can get stuck. Like in quicksand, you're not doing something wrong if you're stuck. Not something wrong in a bad way. Just you haven't been taught the right way to get yourself out of debt and stay out of debt. I think good debt is student loan debt. I think it's a mortgage. You know what you bought for the debt. You know, some of us are fortunate enough to have, you know, a mortgage at like 3 percent because that was crazy. Well, that may not ever happen again. That's kind of good debt. I can use somebody else's money at 3 percent and my money can go earn more than that.

Melissa

That makes perfect sense. I love it. 

Jack

I think I just wanted to add the fact that people like my age, if you have to pay debt and it's a fixed payment and you're just starting out in your career, I would argue to say that you're going to make more money as you progress in your career. So if it's a fixed payment, you know, as you make more and more money through your income, that fixed payment is going to feel less and less painful to pay. So that's another reason why if you lengthen that period it's more beneficial.  

Melissa

Okay. I love it. Thank you for explaining that. Alright, let's talk about, you know, life is supposed to be hard, and I'm always telling people that it's not your job's job to make you happy. So, let's talk about the most difficult parts of each of your careers so far, and I'll have you start, Andrea, since you've had a slightly longer career than Jack has.

Andrea

Yeah, slightly longer, but um, there's been a couple different iterations of the career. Um, I think the hardest part about a financial practice or in being a business for yourself is It's all on you and you're starting at zero. And so there's lots to learn and you're starting at zero. And so, um, I had several careers and they gave me great skill sets that I brought into this career, but I started in my own business in my forties and you start over at zero.

And so I had lots of life experience that I brought to the table as many people that go into coaching might bring that life experience in, but you still, you're starting your business. And so, um, the thing that you build in building your own practice is a tremendous amount of job security there. I'm in business for myself. And so as I build my practice, I can stay in work as long as I want to. There isn't going to be some corporate edict or shift. That's going to mean, you know, I get downsized, outsized, whatever. And that's the benefit I think of building your own practice. Um, but in the beginning, it's a little like start off ones and twos. 

Melissa

Starting from scratch and trying to find your people and speak to them and make them feel safe to work with you and all of that.

Andrea

That's why I think being at a firm, I mean, Lifetime Financial goes across seven states and we've got 300 advisors and all of that. And so there's a lot of comfort to start here in your career because you don't have to have all the answers. I mean, my clients don't want to trust a hundred percent of their financial stuff. I hope Android gets it right. Is anybody else looking, you know, you want to know that there's a firm around  to also help, you know, if I win the lottery and head off to Tahiti and I'm not here that there's a firm to help, or that if there's a question or situation I don't know the answer to that there's resources. So it's not a, you know, mom and pop solopreneurship. It's your own practice, but within the larger firm. 

Melissa

So interesting. Okay, how about you, Jack? What's been the hardest part so far? 

Jack

Yeah, I think getting started. It's very difficult as Andrea said. It's a very competitive career. I have to deal with rejection pretty much every day, which is pretty tough because, you know, prior to being at LFG, I took rejection very personally. I'm still dealing with that. I think I'm getting a bit better or whether that's me actually getting better at it or just immune to it. But yeah, I just think that it's, you know, challenged me in many ways. 

Another thing that it's, you know, forced me to do is get out of my comfort zone. Anyone who knows me knows that I am naturally an introvert. I hang with, you know, two or three people very closely. And then other than that, I'm very closed book, but you know, you cannot be an introvert really in this, in this business. So that's been tough for me to, you know, have that shift.  I think just on a personal level, I'm still learning how to be a fully functioning adult. I just graduated from Ohio State and I'm living in my own house now with my girlfriend, Anna. It's been fun, but it's definitely been challenging, just becoming an adult. 

But I think for me,  that's a big thing I've taken away from this, you know, first five months out of college I feel like I've grown a lot as an individual. And I'm very thankful for that because in the past, if you were told me to, you know, go to the networking events that I'm going to, you know, get on this podcast right now and tell people about my job and you know, what we do, told me to do that a year ago, I would have a panic attack about it or I'd freak out about it, but now it's just, uh, you know, it's whatever. So I'm having a lot of fun with it though, and I'm, you know, continuing to grow and learn every day. So it's been great.  

Melissa

Coming from me, like, I kind of want. My financial advisor to be a little bit anxious that they're doing a good job. And, you know, not to the point that you freeze, but like, “Oh gosh, am I doing a good job?”

And I think that, you know, anxiety gets such a bad rap, but anxiety actually also helps you do a good job, you know, and not if it's. Crippling you and you can't get out of bed and you know, that type of thing, you can't talk to other people without, you know, having a panic attack, you know, that type of thing. But, you know, there is something to be said for having a little bit of anxiety. It’s not necessarily a bad thing. 

Andrea

The lady that works for me, she's been my assistant for over 10 years. You know, I'll walk in sometimes in the morning and there's like three or four things and she goes, “Do you ever sleep?” And it's like you become, um, I think it's sacred ground that Jack and I walk in with people, money and finances. They don't, you know, people don't let a lot of people in there. And so you have to treat that with the respect that that deserves. But because you do. Care about them because you do know about them because you are trying to help them get where they want to go they're on your mind a lot. This is not a nine to five job. You know, people are on your mind. So their money and finances, what things are changing? What might I need to bring to the table? Who haven't I heard from in a while? And so, um, again, that's part of what is very fulfilling. But you are stressed a little bit in a positive way cause you just, you care. And we tell people that we treat their money as if it's our money. So we're not going to tell you to do anything that we wouldn't do ourselves.

Melissa

It's amazing to me. I have never thought about this, but there are so many parallels between coaching and financial advising. So fun.

Andrea

We could recruit you next. You have family demonstration of success all around you.

Melissa

Thank you. I receive that. Alright, how about let's talk about, I mean, we talked about the most difficult parts, but one of the things that I believe is that the road to success is paved with many failures. And many rejections. So, Andrea, will you answer for me? How do you relate to that statement, basically?

Andrea

I get that question sometimes from people. They're like, wow, you have so much information. Like you must have been financially successful your whole life. And I'm like, I wish I had been.

You know, I would love to tell you that I learned everything out of books and, um, that that's where, but I mean, I've made some smart decisions and some not as smart decisions in my life and my financial life. And that is humbling and if you bring that authenticity, you can meet with people and it's not from a position of judgment. It's from a position that like you said, I think in the beginning, you know, life is hard. I wish it wasn't, I don't remember anybody telling me when I was growing up that life was going to be hard, but there are really difficult places and like you, I didn't want to be a victim of finance. I didn't want to not know. I did story problems doing cross country road trips as a kid growing up. So I liked numbers, but then I was a literature and art history major. So there's like the creative put plans together side. And so, yeah, I love to say that it's all from book learning, but it's been from life decisions. And if I can help people like Jack can help people to not have to make some of those mistakes and to be more successful, I think that's the benefit of starting out in the career younger.

Melissa

Yeah. My coach always says to me, “You're going to make mistakes, but I'm going to try to help you not make the same mistakes that I have made.” Like if, you know, she's like, if I can see it ahead of you, I'm going to point you in a different direction or help you see like you're heading toward that mistake that I've already made. Like you don't have to do it too. 

So, all right, buddy. How about you? How about personal failure leading to your success? What can you tell me?

Jack

Yeah, I think one of my biggest personal failures that I can remember is getting cut from the varsity soccer team as a senior.  And I really brought that on to myself, to be honest with you. I just came into summer workouts out of shape. I had done this thing between junior year and senior year where I just thought if I ate a ton of food and I lifted weights, I would just be shredded and buff, but in reality, I was just out of shape. So I got cut. It was humiliating. I didn't get the opportunity to, you know, play another year of soccer with  some of my best friends that I had made through soccer, you know, uh, Cole and Jack specifically. It was tough, you know, because the soccer season starts pretty much as you're getting ready to start the school year. So I got cut and I think we start school three or four days later and  I just had a lot of, like I said, humiliation with that. I was, you know, anxious to go to school just because I didn't want people knowing maybe it would be obvious, you know, on game days they, you know, dress up or they wear their jerseys and I obviously was not going to be dressing up or wearing a jersey, so. 

It taught me to be humble, though, and to not take anything as a given, because that's really what it was. I thought it was a given that I was going to make the team just because I had been, you know, an impactful player on the teams prior. But it's translated well into my professional career. Like I said, just always staying humble and, you know, a student, never letting success get to my head too much, you know, being able to celebrate it, but not, you know, become complacent and, um, you know, take the foot off the gas when it comes to learning about the industry, the products that we sell any language that I can use or navigating are the software that we use, um, the living balance sheet,  because there's a lot of stuff in, in the living balance sheet. So, um, I don't know if anyone can become a full on expert. But yeah, I would say that's a, that's been a huge thing that's happened to me that is, um,  Led me to be more humble as a person. 

Melissa

Yeah. Shaped you into the man you are today. It's interesting. I'm just now thinking like one of your biggest failures, I think led to one of my greatest successes as a mom.

Jack

Why?

Andrea

Tell us about that. I want to know.

Melissa

Because I think me prior to coaching would have tried to fix that or solve that for you. 

Jack

Yeah, there was no fixing that. There really wasn't. I had to deal with it.

Melissa

And I think just me being able to just be there and be present with you in your sadness and humiliation without trying to change how you felt without trying to change the circumstances. It was hard for me to do, but I'm glad that I did it. I think in my estimation, it really taught you A. That you need to be humble and that you, you know, have to work hard for things that you want. And also that your friendships that you had built, although you seem to think that they had to do with soccer didn't have much to do with soccer at all. It was more about who you were as a person that had you having those friendships. And the fact that you guys are still all close to this day is pretty awesome.

Andrea

I think one of the other things that I would share, and I think it's relevant also in coaching, I'm sure you see sometimes, you want everybody to be successful and get to their ultimate place. But just as Jack learned at a young age - which by the way, really smart to learn things young - that it was his effort into soccer that was going to make or break his soccer career. We can't care more about clients, money and finances and their financial success than they do. And that's the only thing I ever say to clients is, “If we find, as we go forward, that like, I care more about your financial success. I'm up at night worrying about it, but you don't seem to be taking it seriously. It's probably not going to be a good working relationship. You're not going to like talking to me.” And I'm like, okay, I want to go work with people who are motivated and passionate about it. And so I think, you know, Jack, you've, you've learned that and you've seen that you didn't have the commitment. That you had the years before and, um, so you didn't get the result that you wanted. So I don't know, but that's, you see that and you want everybody to be successful. And I guess I need coaching because like, I want to like, come on,  I want to change it. 

Melissa

Listen, you can set up a consult after this call, Andrea, and we will get to work next week. 

Andrea

Thank you. Big list of opportunities there.

Melissa

Listen, you can't tell me anything. I have not already heard, lady.

So since Jack is still finishing up and has one more test to take until he is a fully licensed financial advisor,  Andrea, can you tell us what we should be looking for in an advisor? 

Andrea

I think the first thing is you're looking for somebody that you're going to look forward to seeing that you feel like it's getting in the boat and rowing with you and that you can see yourself having positive and hard financial conversations with. I believe that holistic planning is the way to do things, not piecemeal. And so you're looking for somebody who is either expert in multiple areas or has resources in multiple areas. But they're looking at the whole picture. They're not just one off. And I think it is a very personal decision.

And so I suggest that you To people sit down and talk to a couple advisors that are recommended by people that you admire and see that are financially successful and ask questions about how does this work. And then if you start to work and it's not working for you feel okay with making a change.

Melissa

Yeah. So many of my women say that they went to speak with someone and they were made to feel dumb or that they should have been, you know, working with someone way before. And my thought about that is, well, you just picked the wrong person to sit down with. 

Andrea

Yes. Anybody who makes you feel dumb,  fire them immediately. Okay? There's no room for that. There is no room and no space for that. And I do believe that nobody makes you feel anything. So we have to look at what part of that do we have to own? But I think that it should be somebody that you feel completely comfortable calling and getting information input from.

And, you know, I've helped clients through difficult situations. I have one of my very favorite clients going through a divorce and it's crushing me as it is crushing them, that their marriage isn't working, but we're working through that transition and everybody's working to the best outcomes possible. And so you're looking for somebody that can be there with you through good times and through hard times. Go out and talk to them and if you're not looking forward to talking to him or you don't feel like you have the resources or if they're going to nickel and dime you every time you call with a financial question. That is not how it has to work. Not at all.

Melissa

I love that answer. So tell us how we can get in touch with you if we want to work with you. I think that every one of my listeners should  look at the living balance sheet and play around with it and that type of thing and see kind of where they are. So Jack, tell us how people can get in touch with you if they want to learn more about working with you? 

Jack

I think the easiest way would be to use the QR code that we're going to put in this episode. What that will do if you scan that it is, it will actually take you to the living balance sheet. The software that we use with a lot of our clients that we talked about throughout the episode and what it will have you do is it'll have you input some of your information. It'll take maybe 5 minutes to fill out, but once you're finished with that it'll give you a scorecard and where you currently stand. And if you choose to, you obviously do not have to, but if you choose to, there will be a button that you can click to share that with me. And then I will get an alert that you have put your information into the system, and then I can reach out to you that way. Or you can just email me at jonathan.parsons@lfgco.com. Beautiful. Okay, awesome.

Andrea

The living balance sheet tool is something that Jack pays for and it doesn't matter how many people use it. So I just like for people to know there's never a fee that's going to surprise come up for using the tool he's paying the licensing fee so that he can put people on there and they have access to it. So that's part of his business expense and overhead. So I didn't want people to be worried about that. 

Melissa

That there's going to come up with a, like, you have to pay $19.99 a month or something like that in order to use it. I hate it when that happens. So thank you for clarifying and thank you Jack for having that as part of your business expense. It is fun to go around, go in and play around with that. 

And reminds me, I need to do some more work in there to, you know, tease out some stuff that I want to figure out for myself. So thank you for that reminder. Is there anything else that you guys want to share? Anything that I didn't ask that you think people really need to know or do you think we hit it all? 

Andrea

Yeah, I think we hit it all pretty good. The one thing I would share that I know about Jack is that one of his strengths as a developer is a developer of people. And so one of the things that helps him achieve satisfaction is to help other people achieve success and that's what you want with a financial advisor truly Um, you want somebody working for your best interest and somebody who's like yes I'm going to work today because i'm going to help people be successful. So young in the business, great abilities already and just highest integrity and ethics. And so it's fun to work with him. And I appreciate all his help on all the stuff that as an older advisor, I struggle with, but thank you, Jack.

Jack

Yeah. Most of it's just technology stuff. You, you beat me in every other department, but, you know, I'll take my one when I can get it. 

Andrea

There you go.

Melissa

So good. Well, thank you guys both so much for coming on. I really, really appreciate it. I'm uber proud and uber grateful and I can't wait to see where you go, buddy. The only place to go is up. So that's amazing.

Jack

Appreciate it. Thank you. 

Andrea

Thanks for the opportunity. Well, and I just, I want people, whether they contact Jack or they go look, get involved. Don't let it be something that just hangs over your head. And it's that thing that you were always going to do that you didn't do. And you let it just fester in there because it's really, really hard. It's so empowering and it's so fun. And I'm thrilled that Jack and I were able to help you feel better about it as well. 

Melissa

Oh yeah. I'm full on a financial feminist these days. I read Tori's book and several of my clients have read Tori's book and it is amazing just following her on Instagram. Um, if you guys aren't following her, it's her first 100K and just all of the, you know, reasons that in the past that women just were not taught to be interested in their finances. We're not taught that it was their responsibility, their job, you know, that type of thing. And I just want all of my women who are listening to feel so empowered with their money and to go out and help other people and make more of it so that they can live their favorite version of their life. 

So, alright. Thank you guys. I hope you have a beautiful rest of the day.

Everybody come back next week. I'm sure I'll have another banger for you! 

Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only.

By providing this content, Park Ave. Securities LLC and your financial representative are not undertaking to provide investment advice or make a recommendation for a specific individual or situation, or to otherwise act in a fiduciary capacity.

Your Favorite You podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by PAS or Guardian, and opinions stated are their own.

The living balance sheet and the living balance sheet logo are service marks of the Guardian Life Insurance Company of America, Guardian, New York, New York. Copyright 2005 to 2024. Guardian.

Andrea is a registered representative and financial advisor of Park Avenue Securities, LLC, PAS. Security products and advisory services offered through PAS, member FINRA, SIPC. Financial representatives of the Guardian Life Insurance Company of America, Guardian, New York, New York. PAS is a wholly owned subsidiary of Guardian. Lifetime Financial Growth is not an affiliate or subsidiary of Guardian. Andrea's CA insurance license number 0G74181.7019580.1. Expires 9/26.

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